Special Guest Post

I invited a special guest to do an entry today. My neighbor Christopher Batista, Age 9:

Your booty's full
Your booty's full
Your booty's full of poop!

Awesome! Thanks Chris!

Stand Old Ivy

I was pretty much built for state school, but to those Ivy Leaguers who think they're so great, remember this:
Anyone can excel in a small class with caring professors. It takes a real genius to do well in a class of 500 taught by a grad student who doesn't speak English.

From the Book Report Archives 1/4/98

Is "Black Magic Woman" about Ms. Cleo?

You're the man now

My comrade Jordan has started a new website for his fledgling greeting card business: Hey, I'm a dog

Here is a sampling of his work:


An admirable effort, though, I don't know if anything will ever top this:


Sorry, Jordan, but don't worry...

I have a dream

I had a really vivid dream about this:


The music video for the Presidents of the United States, "Peaches."

Dreams are illustrations... from the book your soul is writing about you.
-Marsha Norman

From the Book Report Archives: 1/3/06

You know you're on myspace too much when you get the friend request before the notification email.

Ahoy!

Oh, yeah you love pirates, with your "Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest," skull and crossbones t-shirts from Hot Topic, and you even participate in "Talk like a Pirate day."

Well, a pirate's life is not so easy. You want to prove yourself, "matey?"

I've got a plank for you to walk:


"CutThroat Island."
See, it's not treasure maps and booty.

Roman Calendar

1/1/2007 12:00:01:

Dan and Girlfriend Kiss.

DAN: Happy New Year! I love you.
GF: I love you too.

1/1/2006 12:00:01:

Dan and Random Broad Kiss.

DAN: Happy New Year! That was nice. Thank you.
RB: I want some candy.
DAN: Uh, okay. Well, there's some blow-pops in the back...
RB: No, I mean, I want CANDY.
DAN: Oh, cocaine. I don't have any. Sorry.
RB: Shit. Well, I'm going to go find some.

Maybe it'll be a good year.