Value

I just got my employee evaluation for my day job, as a receptionist.

Apparently I'm picking up the phone correctly. I smell a bonus!

Makin' Movez

Psst...Don't tell no one, but I know where you can get some blackmarket trans fats...Keep it on the DL...I like you, I trust you...but word is...Don't go buying in Washington Square Park, the shit they sell is just bags of Olestra.

Lame on Lame

I was sitting alone in Philly Slims, eating a double meat wit' double cheesesteak before improv rehearsal and watching CNBC. They had a commentator on who had written a book called "Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman." I want this book on my bookshelf, but I will never read it.

Then I burned myself with Cheez Whiz.

The action never stops

This is the best Wikipedia article I've ever read:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Action_Park

Gethard is even quoted!

I remember one of my first days at Rutgers, my floormates were discussing Action Park stories a la the scars scene in Jaws.

Diff'rent Strokes

"Smallville" and "Scrubs" should switch theme songs.