Bad Sport

I've never really been one for competitive athletics, mostly for my lack of speed, coordination, and skill, but also my complete lack of sportsmanship.

Being 5 foot nothing, with thick orange-rimmed glasses and a potbelly, I was not an intimidating force on the field. I was however, quite adept in the art of shit-talking.

The last time I participated in an athletic competition was in Eighth grade when I
on the Fairfield Recreation soccer team, the Bears.

I was thrown out of the game in the last quarter, for calling a teammate "a fat fuck."

Thus ended my team-based sports career, I was always more of a karate lessons type kid anyway. (Soccer does not teach the skills necessary to become a ninja).

Punk rock, video games, and masturbation filled my teenage years, so I didn't pay much attention to sports.

Upon going to college, I found the joy in watching collegiate and professional sports, especially while drinking with friends.

But the greatest joy has come from harassing fans about their teams.

With most of my friends being Red Sox fans and me an adopted Yankee fan, I found the signing of Johnny Damon particularly amusing and rather than tease, I decided to do a little research...and I found this picture of him before and after his haircut...



...and naked.