Sad in Every sense of the word

It's awful that I can best describe my mood through Smiths lyrics:

"I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
but heaven knows I'm miserable now
I was looking for a job, and then I found a job
and heaven knows I'm miserable now

In my life
why do I give valuable time
to people who don't care if I live or die"

I am officially a 15-year-old girl.