Ghosts of Christmas Past

A couple years ago, I didn't know what to get anybody. Gift certificates were so impersonal, so I hatched an ingenius scheme:
I'd buy people things they definitely WOULDN'T want, include a gift receipt, and they could return them and get anything they wanted.

The concept being: it would indicate that I did know their tastes, so in a way it was personal, but they could still get what they wanted.
I went to Borders, since they have books, movies and music (At reasonable prices!).

In practice this didn't work as well as expected:

"Happy Mother's Day, Mom! Here's 'Understanding the Koran!'"

"Merry Christmas, Jordan! Here's 'A Woman's Guide to Anal Sex!'"

Happy Chanukkah, Dad! Here's 'Mein Kampf!'"

I didn't do that ever again.